8 Practical Guidelines for Mindful Parenting

Taking care of the little (and not-so-little ones) can be a challenge, but that doesn’t mean that “mindful parenting” has to be an oxymoron. Here then are some simple tips from Karen Maezen Miller.

Karen Maezen Miller4 August 2015
Photo by Mary Lang.

1. Practice in plain sight

Place your zafu meditation cushion in a conspicuous place in your home, such as on your bedroom floor. As you pass by, let it invite you to practice meditation daily. Even five minutes in the morning or night can turn your life around.

2. Live by routine

Take the needless guesswork out of meals and bedtimes. Let everyone relax into the predictable flow of a healthy and secure life.

3. Turn off the engines

Discipline TV and computer usage and reduce artificial distraction, escapism, and stimulation. This begins with you.

4. Elevate the small

And overlook the large. Want to change the world? Forget the philosophical lessons. Instruct your child in how to brush his or her teeth, and then do it, together, twice a day.

5. Give more attention

And less of everything else. Devote one hour a day to giving undistracted attention to your children. Not in activities driven by your agenda, but according to their terms. Undivided attention is the most concrete expression of love you can give.

6. Take a break

Before you break in two. Designate a chair in your home as a “quiet chair,” where you can retreat to decelerate conflicts. Or walk around the block and see how quickly your own two feet can stamp out the fire on your head.

7. Be the first to apologize

Practice the miracle of atonement and instantly restore household harmony. By your doing, your children will learn how.

8. Be the last to know

Refrain from making judgments and foregone conclusions about your children. Watch their lives unfold, and be surprised. The show is marvelous, and yours is the best seat in the house.

Karen Maezen Miller

Karen Maezen Miller

Karen Maezen Miller is a priest in the Soto Zen lineage of Taizan Maezumi Roshi and a student of Nyogen Yeo Roshi. In daily life, as mother to daughter Georgia and as a writer, she aims to resolve the enigmatic truth of Maezumi’s teaching, “Your life is your practice.” Miller is the author of Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, and most recently, Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden.