Susan J. Stabile on how to live with — or even support — your partner’s differing beliefs. Question: Lion’s Roar, help! My partner has returned to his Catholic roots and I am struggling to accept this. I have spent the past few months working to live the Middle Way, but then something happens—a church-related event or news in the media about the Catholic Church—and I am [...]
When, if ever, is it okay for a Buddhist to euthanize a pet?
James Ishmael Ford on the toughest call a pet lover will have to make. Question: I’m aware of the Buddhist exhortation not to kill, but my cat’s health is declining and there’s no doubt his pain can only be managed for so long. When, if ever, is it okay to put your pet down, and how do you work with it when the time comes? Answer: These days, when our pets live well [...]
Worried About Worrying
Susan Piver gives advice on working with a mind that can’t stop working over every detail. Question: I am a constant worrier. I replay every event, stress about any little mistake I make, and often fear I haven’t done a good enough job, even when I have done my very best. How do I work on this? Answer: Anxiety is so tricky. The nature of this trickiness is revealed by [...]
I’m Not O.K., You’re Not O.K.—and That’s O.K
When we read the news, we might find ourselves overwhelmed with “non-OK-ness,” but Sylvia Boorstein says there are ways we can work with that feeling. I heard on the BBC World News that a supermarket chain in Great Britain now provides chaplains in their stores, available to meet with customers when they are shopping. In Leeds, the position is shared by a Buddhist nun, a [...]
No One Like Me
Lama Rod Owens on taking care of your own needs when you don’t see yourself represented in those around you. Question: I recently moved to a Buddhist retreat center where I am pretty much the only person of color. I knew that going in, but it’s been more difficult than I expected. I love the practice and don’t want to leave, but I feel uncomfortable and miss my own people [...]
How to Read the News
How can we follow the news in ways that nurture – not diminish – wellbeing? Author, Buddhist, and media scholar Holly Stocking offers some guidance. I began to think about the harm that mindless consumption of the news can do after hearing of a spiritual teacher who cautioned his students about going to the mall. The mall can be a place where we feed our afflicted emotions, he [...]
My Child Fears the Future
Sylvia Boorstein on how to give our children — and ourselves — hope in a worrying time. Question: I grew up under the shadow of nuclear war. Today, my children fear for the future of the world because of climate change and Donald Trump — and nuclear war too! While I know that Buddhists are supposed to transcend hope and fear, I don’t think it’s good for children to grow [...]
Compassion Has No Enemy
In the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting in 2012, Chan Buddhist teacher Guo Gu looked at how to understand violence through the lens of the three poisons. My teacher, the late Master Sheng Yen, once said something very simple, but which requires a lifetime of practice to actualize. I share it with you in this difficult time: “Wisdom does not give rise to vexations; compassion [...]
My Livelihood Doesn’t Seem Right
Michael Carroll on what to do when your work doesn’t align with your values. Question: I work at a large energy company. I love my job, my colleagues, and my workplace culture, but intellectually I know that my company does harm to the planet. Can I respect the Buddhist principle of right livelihood and keep a job I enjoy? If so, how? Answer: In our pursuit of right [...]
Is it worth sticking with a testy relationship?
Karen Maezen Miller on taking a break or sticking with it. Question: Even though I am an adult, my relationship with my parents still involves a lot of arguing. It feels kind of toxic and I’m considering taking a break from communicating with them. But I also feel guilty about deserting them. What does Buddhism say about my obligation to others vs. my obligation to take care [...]
