Susan J. Stabile on how to live with — or even support — your partner’s differing beliefs. Question: Lion’s Roar, help! My partner has returned to his Catholic roots and I am struggling to accept this. I have spent the past few months working to live the Middle Way, but then something happens—a church-related event or news in the media about the Catholic Church—and I am [...]
5 Surprising Slogans to Help You Handle Anger
Zen teacher Norman Fischer applies five mind-training slogans to anger and other emotions. Photo illustrations by Marguerite Sands. To practice with anger—rather than simply being a victim of it—is to make the effort to respect and understand it. This involves being willing to look more deeply at the complex of negative emotions, which naturally arise as part of our human [...]
The Wisdom of Anger
If you know how to use it, says Melvin McLeod, the energy of anger becomes fierce and compassionate wisdom. Because even the buddhas get angry about suffering and injustice. Is anger an empowering and appropriate response to suffering and injustice, or does it only cause more conflict? Is it skillful or unskillful? Does it help or hurt? With so many bad things happening [...]
How to Transform Anger in 4 Steps
Using the traditional metaphor of the poison tree, Judy Lief teaches us four Buddhist techniques to work with our anger. According to Buddhist psychology, anger is one of the six root kleshas, the conflicting emotions that cause our suffering. Its companions are greed, ignorance, passion, envy, and pride. Anger can be white hot or freezing cold. Anger can be turned outward [...]
Beyond Fight or Flight
Gabriel Cohen on how you can defuse stressful situations by pausing before reacting instinctively. Before I moved into my apartment, the previous tenants warned me that a teenager downstairs occasionally annoyed them with the sound of his video games. It turned out that the techno music and beepings were hard to ignore. I tried to be patient but one night, after I was [...]
The Cage Fight in My Head
From a young age, Cameron Conaway was trained to channel rage into violence. Years later, he learned he could transform his anger into something else. Trigger warning: abuse. For many years, my childhood abuse simmered as rage within me at all times. Memories of feeling helpless and neglected haunted me. I couldn’t stop them from replaying in my mind and I didn’t have the [...]
bell hooks tells the story of the first time she met Thich Nhat Hanh
When bell hooks met Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh for the first time, all that could come out of her mouth were the words "I'm so angry." In this video, she shares how he responded. This conversation at the Jewish Community center in Manhattan was sponsored by Lion’s Roar in partnership with the Garrison Institute and the JCC Manhattan. Transcript bell hooks:I [...]
Great Expectations
We want the sun; we get the rain. But where does the doorway of disappointment lead? Elizabeth Brownrigg on disappointment as a painful but necessary treasure. I’ve been disappointed by pretty much everything at one time or another: work, school, vacations, lunch, Desperate Housewives after the third season, marriage, friendship. The list goes on. The feeling of [...]
Feed the Right Wolf
Pema Chödrön describes the process of looking compassionately and honestly at our own minds. In the end, she says, freeing ourselves from anger and hostility comes down to choosing which wolf we want to feed. As human beings we have the potential to disentangle ourselves from old habits, and the potential to love and care about each other. We have the capacity to [...]
A guided reflection on bringing RAIN to difficulty
Tara Brach discusses RAIN, a technique she frequently teaches to her students and also uses in her own life. Developed by Vipassana teacher Michele McDonald, RAIN stands for: Recognize what is happening Allow life to be just as it is; Investigate inner experience with kindness Non-identification. Here's a guided reflection for applying RAIN in your own life. Guided [...]
