Everything changes; nothing lasts. In matters of the heart this can be a hard truth to wake up to. Karen Maezen Miller on what to do after the love story ends. It was the toothbrush that told me. Alone and overlooked in the emptied medicine chest, it was one of the few things my departed lover had left behind. When I found it, I knew with certainty something I’d been [...]
Commentary: We Can Always Do Something
Karen Maezen Miller on the human courage reflected in Christine Blasey Ford. Last night I said a service, or chant, invoking compassion and healing for 150 victims of sexual assault. These are our daughters, sisters, mothers, sons, brothers, and, yes, mostly ourselves. After the convulsive end to Thursday’s Senate hearing, I felt like I’d been run over and left for dead. [...]
Doing Nothing
Karen Maezen Miller on how meditation helps her bring "doing nothing" into everything she does. There must be something in the connotation of the word "being" that makes it seem like the opposite of "doing." I say that because I'm sometimes asked how, as an avowed meditator, I ever get things done. Perhaps they picture me curled up in a corner. A regular meditation [...]
You Too
On Sunday night, Karen Maezen Miller logged onto social media to see a steady stream of "me too"s coming across her feed — women identifying that they had been victims of sexual harassment or assault — and it broke down a barrier between "me" and "you." As usual, I was late to the social media movement. Returning from retreat, I saw the hashtags sailing through my newsfeed [...]
Is it worth sticking with a testy relationship?
Karen Maezen Miller on taking a break or sticking with it. Question: Even though I am an adult, my relationship with my parents still involves a lot of arguing. It feels kind of toxic and I’m considering taking a break from communicating with them. But I also feel guilty about deserting them. What does Buddhism say about my obligation to others vs. my obligation to take care [...]
Do Dishes, Rake Leaves: The Wisdom of the Ancient Homemakers
Photo by Anne E. Jones. Karen Maezen Miller on how the domestic practice of ancient Zen masters can lead us to intimate encounters with our own lives. In the fall, the broad canopy of giant sycamores in my backyard turns faintly yellow and the leaves sail down. First by ones, and then by tons. A part of every autumn day finds me fuming at the sight of falling leaves. Then, I [...]
6 tips for getting ready for a meditation retreat
How do you know if you are prepared to handle the silence, the physical rigors, the discipline, and the mental intensity of a prolonged meditation retreat? Relax. You can't know. You don't need to know. There is no way to prepare. The very notion of preparation traps us in false expectation and self-evaluation. It shows us how often we are paralyzed by the feeling of [...]
15 Buddhist Apps to Help Recognize You Don’t Really Need a Buddhist iPhone App
Sam Littlefair learns why there are so few Buddhist apps and how — even if they're not totally necessary — they might help you on your spiritual journey. I select Stop, Breathe & Think on my iPad, and the app opens to a friendly drawing of a meditator, next to a large “Begin” button, which I tap. I’m swept into my guided meditation. Close your eyes, reads the next [...]
How Do I Put My Mind to Rest?
Like the student in this famous koan, we constantly face the challenge of emotional turmoil and restless mind. You don't have to cut off your arm like he did, says Karen Maezen Miller, but you do have to cut off your conflicting emotions at their root. “Would you like to learn to meditate now?” I asked this of a student as we neared the end of the meditation class. I was [...]
Be Sad
Karen Maezen Miller looks at the important role of sadness in life. Photos by Gracie Hagen. We can get so worked up trying to be happy that I wanted to strike a different note to the tune of full disclosure: Sad. What about when you're sad? What about when bad things happen or good things don't? What about tears and [...]
