Thich Nhat Hanh shows us how we can use loving relationships to cultivate the seeds of buddhahood inside us. To commit to another person is to embark on a very adventurous journey. You must be very wise and very patient to keep your love alive so it will last for a long time. The first year of a committed relationship can already reveal how difficult it is. When you first [...]
Intimate Relationship as a Spiritual Crucible
Living with someone we love, with all the joys and challenges, is one of the best ways to grow spiritually. But real awakening only happens, says renowned psychologist John Welwood, in the charnel ground where we acknowledge and work with our wounds, fears, and illusions. As seen inside the September 2017 Lion's Roar magazine. While most people would like to have healthy, [...]
Love — It’s What Really Makes Us Happy
Robert Waldinger is a Zen priest and leader of the longest-running study of human happiness. As Andrea Miller tells us, he’s found that science and Buddhism agree on what makes life happy and meaningful. What makes life worth living? What really makes us happy? As a Zen priest and leader of the one of the most important studies of human happiness ever undertaken, Robert [...]
The Four Highest Emotions
Ayya Khema on cultivating loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity — "the only emotions worth having." "True love exists when the heart is so broadly trained that it can embrace all human beings and all living creatures." When we think of love, we have ideas that are purely personal and, on the whole, quite fanciful. They are based in general on our [...]
Revisiting the Traditional Buddhist Views on Sex and Sexuality
When it comes to sex, Western Buddhists tend to be fairly liberal. But as scholar José Cabezón explains, Buddhist tradition takes a much more conservative approach, prohibiting, among other things, oral or anal sex, male homosexuality, and even sex during daylight hours. He challenges us not to dismiss traditional Buddhist views on sexuality but rather to critically examine [...]
Romantic Vision vs. Everyday Disappointment
In meditation we cut through our fantasies and relate with life as it really is. Then something magical can happen. Judith Simmer-Brown says it’s exactly the same in our relationships. Bitter, bitter my distress must be, And never, never must my heart give up Its great and overwhelming grief for her, Nor I be granted e'en a passing hope Of joy however sweet, however [...]
Ask the Teachers: Should I believe the thought that I want a divorce?
I'm not sure I understand the statement, often evoked by Buddhists, “Don't believe everything you think.” How can I know which thoughts to believe? For instance, I seem to constantly have an unbidden thought that I wish I weren't married to my spouse. But then I think, well, I'm a Buddhist, I don't have to believe this thought. Besides, this is not something I would discuss or [...]
Beginning Anew
Thich Nhat Hanh on how to make the meaningful ceremony of "Beginning Anew" part of your life — including his unique practice of mindfulness, "hugging meditation." Beginning Anew is not to ask for forgiveness. Beginning Anew is to change your mind and heart, to transform the ignorance that brought about wrong actions of body, speech, and mind, and to help you cultivate your [...]
Healthy Desire: A Buddhist’s View of Mindfulness & Sex
Buddhist practitioner Ray Buckner shares how bringing mindfulness into sex helps us develop a healthier relationship with both ourselves and our partner, and deepens our connection between mind and body. Eyes wide, out of breath, I remember my exact words. Spoken slowly and softly, I said, “Wow. That was literally the most amazing experience I have ever had in my entire [...]
A Buddhist Fiancé’s Guide to Love and Marriage (and Even Divorce)
Depending on how you see it, marriage — or any intimate relationship — offers the opportunity for profound practice in compassion and wisdom. The countdown is on. In 120 days, I’ll be married. To me, there are a lot of good reasons to get married. And when I read through beautiful personal stories of weddings and marriage on Lion’s Roar, I find even more. Still, as a [...]