Question: How do we retain passion in life and still follow the teaching that we should accept all of life with equanimity? Narayan Helen Liebenson: I don’t think there is an inherent conflict between living passionately and living with equanimity. Not only can passion and equanimity coexist, they can work together harmoniously. When I use the word “passion,” I am referring [...]
Does my transgender identity conflict with Buddhism’s teachings on no-self?
Q: I was born male, but after many years of confusion, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually a transgender woman and I’m now seeking sex-reassignment surgery. As a Buddhist, I feel conflicted by the teachings on no-self and this unshakable feeling that there is a deep, hidden truth about me that I need to express. Am I wrong to embrace this sense of true self? Sallie [...]
Ask the Teachers: How can I accept the suffering of others?
Question: In dharma talks, the causes of suffering are often discussed, as is the cessation of suffering. I have been a Buddhist for about eighteen years, and while I feel I have an understanding and acceptance of the causes of personal suffering, I find it difficult to understand the causes of suffering when we suffer for others. Such suffering is not due to ignorance or [...]
What’s your “Ask the Teachers” question?
If you’re a Buddhadharma reader, you know about “Ask The Teachers,” in which we pose a question about practice to three teachers from different schools of Buddhism. What is your question? Which teachings do you find particularly challenging or perplexing? Which aspects of the dharma cause uncertainty rather than inspiration? What is your struggle? We want to know. Email [...]
Ask the Teachers: Should I believe the thought that I want a divorce?
I'm not sure I understand the statement, often evoked by Buddhists, “Don't believe everything you think.” How can I know which thoughts to believe? For instance, I seem to constantly have an unbidden thought that I wish I weren't married to my spouse. But then I think, well, I'm a Buddhist, I don't have to believe this thought. Besides, this is not something I would discuss or [...]
Ask the Teachers: Should I meditate if I can’t stop thinking about porn?
Question: I’m addicted to pornography; I have been for a long time. I have good days in my practice, but often I end up bringing pornography into my meditation, and once it begins, it’s hard not to stay with it. Is meditation even a good idea for me? Or am I someone who should spend less time in his own head, away from these kinds of thoughts? Bodhin Kjolhede: Indeed, we [...]
Ask the Teachers: Should I meditate for short or long periods?
Question: Some teachers say that if you're having difficulty with your meditation you shouldn't force yourself to stay on the cushion. How do you know when you're forcing your meditation, instead of applying proper effort? Should you continue with the practice if you're feeling a lot of resistance and your mind is racing? Do you recommend short periods of meditation or longer [...]
Ask the Teachers: How do I deal with doubt?
Question: I’ve been a Buddhist practitioner for many decades, and for the past several years I’ve been dealing with a lot of doubt regarding my practice, my sangha, and even my teacher. There’s been a falling out in my sangha and some of my friends have left, in part because they have lost confidence in our teacher. I want to believe in my teacher, my sangha, and my path, but I [...]
How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression?
Question: How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression? Narayan Helen Liebenson: Major depression is one of the more difficult situations one can encounter. My experience is that meditation can be beneficial, if practiced under the supervision of a skilled therapist or teacher. I recommend The Mindful Way through Depression by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, [...]
Ask the Teachers: How do I know whether to avoid or accept something that causes me distress?
If someone or something causes me distress, how do I judge whether to avoid the situation or to accept it as a practice opportunity, along the lines of an Atisha’s assistant? Dungse Jampal Norbu: The story of Atisha's assistant is a reminder that we can further our practice by accepting difficult situations in our lives. When Atisha was asked why he tolerated his insulting [...]