A moving account by Susan Moon of her journey back from depression, and how her Buddhist practice both helped and hindered her. Although I suffered from severe depression, I didn't call it that for most of the several years I was in and out of it. I thought depression was for lethargic people who stayed in bed all day. But my pain was as sharp as an ice pick. Restless in [...]
How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression?
Question: How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression? Narayan Helen Liebenson: Major depression is one of the more difficult situations one can encounter. My experience is that meditation can be beneficial, if practiced under the supervision of a skilled therapist or teacher. I recommend The Mindful Way through Depression by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, [...]
Offer Your Depression
Once I was in a meeting with a publisher to discuss a book I was writing (for which he had paid a tidy sum). He hated it. He hated me. We did not understand each other at all. I came to the meeting having thoughtfully considered his perspective, prepared to defend the points I was passionate about and compromise where possible. He came to the meeting with only two words for me: [...]
How to work with the “Winter Blues”
"Perhaps," says Sylvia Boorstein, "these days of less sunlight are opportunities for more contemplative time, more looking deeply to see what can only be seen in the dark." These are especially hard days for people whose minds are burdened with the fatigue of depression, the grief of loss, even the relatively mild Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that seems directly related [...]
Every Day a Reprieve
Josh Korda knows he is not cured—and he never will be—but through honesty and diligence he enjoys a daily reprieve from depression and addiction. I woke up sweating, gulping for air. I was in the grips of a panic attack, my stomach cement hard yet churning. In my mind, movie screens played horror films in a loop; the images in this multiplex were darker than Dostoevsky. I’d [...]
Medicate or Meditate?
In this 2009 Buddhadharma feature, physicians and long-term meditators Roger Walsh, Robin Bitner, Bruce Victor, and Lorena Hillman explain why both antidepressants and meditation have an important role to play in treating depression. When we first set foot on the spiritual path, many of us believed that spiritual practice was all we needed. Ancient texts spellbound us with [...]
Mindfulness of Mind
Dispassionately observing what goes on in our mind is one of Buddhism’s central practices. As Michael Stroud reports, the technique is being used to work with a variety of mental health problems, including depression. Twenty-three years ago, during a weeklong Zen retreat in Taiwan, I entered a depression so profound I wondered if I would ever emerge. It took nine months of [...]
The Joy of the Lonely Dancer
Too often, says Judith Simmer-Brown, Buddhism’s principles of emptiness and aloneness lead us into the extreme of nihilism. She looks at the pitfalls of the nihilistic view and recounts her own journey from depression and despair to a more profound aloneness marked by celebration, joy, and an experience of basic goodness. The lonely child who travels through The fearful [...]
A Few Words Before They Drag Me Away
In and out of hospital since childhood, Diana Atkinson on a life cut to pieces. "What major surgery produces is a certain quality of loss, a loss with its own nuances, its own character." Larry McMurtry, in his 1999 memoir “Walter Benjamin at the Dairy Queen: Reflections at Sixty and Beyond” You must be naked. You must remove all jewelry, all traces of scent, makeup, [...]
I Thought I Was Alone
Susan Moon -- whose piece "I Want to Tell You About Coming Apart and Struggling Through Depression" is among our readers' favorites -- on how pharma, dharma, and sangha have helped her bring things together. I’ve been a Zen practitioner for thirty years. Ten years ago I was in a deep depression. If I sat down to meditate, demons took advantage of the opportunity to torment me, [...]