Who am I, really? Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara shares three teachings that have given her solace and strength as she’s asked that question. Conceived as part of our “Rainbow Dharma” coverage focusing on LGBTQ Buddhists, the lessons here are universally helpful to us all. The walls that separate us seem to be falling away. These days, many of the old constructions and categories [...]
Coping With My Child’s Pain
Do we ever really know how things will turn out? Donnell King, whose daughter suffers from a rare, debilitating disorder, has learned not to look for certainty. “It’s all over now.” I heard these words as I stepped out of the elevator at Children’s Hospital. A mother held the hand of her daughter, who appeared to be ten or eleven years old. The girl was quiet, but tears [...]
How to Raise an Emotionally Resilient Child
Emotional health, says parent coach Krissy Pozatek, means accepting the full range of human emotions, both the painful and the positive. For parents who wish their children nothing but happiness, that can be difficult. When my daughter was four, she said to me, “Mommy, I'm worried.” She had tension in her voice and fear in her eyes. Concerned, I asked, “Sweetie, what are [...]
Trust in Your Goodness
Instead of trying to promote or defend ourselves, says Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, we can base our lives on something more powerful and trustworthy—our basic goodness. Paintings by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Lettering by Hannah Reynolds. Meditation practice is not an exotic or out-of-reach approach. It is immediate and personal, and it involves an intimate relationship with [...]
National Treasure: Gary Snyder
Beat hero, steward of the earth, Zen Buddhist—in his mid-eighties, poet Gary Snyder looks back on an honorable life at the leading edge. Shortly after his eighty-fifth birthday, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, naturalist, and all-around Renaissance man Gary Snyder read from his latest (and possibly last) collection of poems, This Present Moment, as part of the City Arts and [...]
How to Practice Bowing
When we bow to another person, says Brother Phap Hai, we honor both their goodness and our own. In the famed Lotus Sutra, there is a wonderful chapter in which we meet a bodhisattva named Never Despising. His practice was not doing long hours of sitting meditation, chanting the sutras, or reciting mantras. Upon seeing another person, he would put his palms together, bow, [...]
Meditation: Be Kind to Yourself
A three-step contemplation to give yourself the compassion you need (and deserve). Put both hands on your heart, pause, and feel their warmth. You can also put your hand anyplace on your body that feels soothing and comforting, like your belly or face. Breathe deeply in and out. Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently, in a warm and caring tone: This [...]
What are the Five Recollections?
Frank and pithy, these five reminders about the reality of impermanence and karma are attributed to the Buddha himself, as taught in the Upajjhatthana Sutta. Though they start with what is plainly “bad news,” contemplating the Five Recollections helps us accept life’s difficulties, motivating us to practice and be kind to ourselves and others. I am of the nature to grow [...]
17 Resources for Making Friends with Yourself
Letting go of self-criticism and making friends with ourselves makes us happier, more resilient, and kinder. Here is a collection of essential videos, books, and websites to help take that step. Videos “Pema Chödrön explains Maitri” “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen” Books & Audio How to Meditate: [...]
Now that I’m doing Buddhist meditation, should I give up therapy?
I’m in psychotherapy and it’s been very helpful to me. Now that I’ve started doing Buddhist meditation, I’m wondering if I should give up therapy. Is meditation all I need to deal with my issues? This is something that’s hotly debated in the Buddhist world. Purists say that the wisdom and compassion we develop in meditation is all we need because it addresses our suffering [...]
