The late Mike DeStefano -- a.k.a "Mike D." or "Mikey D." -- was many things: foul-mouthed, sweet, a recovering addict, living with profound loss, a Buddhist with a serious tonglen practice, and darkly, savagely funny. Now, DeStefano's memory is to get a much-deserved bump, thanks to the pending release of a documentary about him called Drugs, Disease, Death: A [...]
Transforming the Heart of Suffering
In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean—you name it—to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, [...]
How to Practice Tonglen
Pema Chödrön teaches us “sending and taking,” an ancient Buddhist practice to awaken compassion. With each in-breath, we take in others’ pain. With each out-breath, we send them relief. Tonglen practice, also known as “taking and sending,” reverses our usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In tonglen practice, we visualize taking in the pain of others [...]
Tonglen: Bad In, Good Out
A teaching on Tonglen practice by Pema Chödrön, and how it begins by taking in our own suffering before we can help others. In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish — you name it — [...]
In With the Bad Air, Out With the Good
Gelek Rimpoche on the practice of tonglen, the way to awaken bodhi mind by doing exactly the opposite of what your ego wants. “Give and Take” mounted on the breath is the magic device Bringing love, compassion, and the special mind. To save all beings from this world’s great ocean, Please bless me to awaken true bodhimind. From “An Offering Ceremony to the Spiritual [...]
Three Practices That Healed My Heart After A Traumatic Injury
When a car drove over her foot, Carla Beharry felt like her anger would never end. Her journey of healing taught her that the only way out of suffering is through it. I remember the exact moment — six months ago — that my life changed: the flash of excruciating pain, the shock and disbelief. I remember gripping my leg, as my yoga-teaching career flashed before my eyes. A [...]
Kindness to Ourselves and Others
Suffering is more than the first noble truth of Buddhism. To see our own and others' suffering is the first step on the path, the birthplace of compassion. Judy Lief offers guidance on the journey. When the Buddha was a young child, he led a sheltered life, brought up in a wealthy family. His father was a regional king, and as such, officiated at ceremonies and state [...]
Pema Chödrön: join me in practicing tonglen for Nepal
Pema Chödrön has joined a number of other Buddhist figures in addressing the suffering in Nepal caused by the recent devastating earthquake there. Tonglen practice, she reminds us in a new Facebook post, offers us "the opportunity to work with compassion, kindness, gentleness and generosity," especially in a time of suffering and confusion. Watch her short tonglen [...]
Tonglen: In with the Bad, Out with the Good
“Accepting and sending out” is a powerful meditation to develop compassion—for ourselves and others. Ethan Nichtern teaches us how to do it in formal practice and on the spot whenever suffering arises. Tonglen, which in Tibetan means “accepting and sending out,” is one of the most powerful and intense compassion meditations in the Buddhist tradition. The Buddhist [...]
The No-Escape Button
Rather than try to escape from painful feelings, Alixa Doom started practicing tonglen at her job at a psychiatric hospital, breathing in the pain and fear she witnessed there. A panic button at eye level, beneath the shelf bordering my desk, provides me with a sense of security. The touch of a finger and I can call forth a flotilla of staff to assist if a patient’s [...]
