My Partner Disapproves

Susan Piver answers a reader’s question about meditation and relationships.

Susan Piver
21 October 2019

Susan Piver: Dear new meditator, it is wonderful that you are beginning to practice and seeing the ordinary/extraordinary consequences!

I relate to part of your question, by the way. My partner is not a meditator either. I don’t find this to be a problem. In fact, there is a sort of secret benefit: because we don’t share the practice, the only way I can communicate to him about the benefits is to manifest them (rather than talk about them). I can only walk the talk. It is very direct and practical.

But this doesn’t get to the actual problem in your question, which is that your partner does not approve of what you are doing. This gives me pause. How can approval be withheld for something that is helping you? And why is approval required?

It’s one thing not to share the practice (which is fine), but it’s another to be judged for it. I think you are well within your rights to move ahead with whatever practice you choose without requiring anyone’s approval. And if you find yourself having to choose between a relationship and a practice that supports you, I would find myself questioning the nature of the relationship.

I wish you (and your partner) well!

Susan Piver

Susan Piver

Susan Piver is a Buddhist teacher and the New York Times bestselling author of many books, including The Wisdom of a Broken Heart and Start Here Now: An Open-Hearted Guide to the Path and Practice of Meditation. Her latest is The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships. She is founder of The Open Heart Project, an international online meditation community.