As a trans practitioner, Ray Buckner has struggled to find a sense of belonging in Buddhist spaces. They offer suggestions for how we can better support sangha members of all genders. When I enter new sanghas, I see people connecting. They smile and laugh, walking with a sense of ease. Their bodies, facial expressions, and loving words spoken to one another communicate a [...]
Psychologist and researcher Lori Brotto helps women have better sex through meditation and mindfulness
Sex researcher Dr. Lori A. Brotto speaks with Ray Buckner about her wealth of research on how mindfulness and meditation practice can help women overcome sexual difficulties. Dr. Lori A. Brotto is a clinical psychologist and sex researcher who has spent over 15 years researching how mindfulness and meditation practice can help women have more fulfilling sex lives. Dr. [...]
How the Three Jewels Healed My Heart After Abuse
In the midst of an abusive relationship, Buddhist practitioner Ray Buckner says Buddhism's three jewels were painfully absent from their life. By taking refuge in each precious jewel — buddha, dharma, and sangha — they've found healing for a fractured heart. When I think of my experience with sexual assault and domestic abuse, I think of the three jewels of Buddhism. Years [...]
The Fleeting Feeling of Joy
In the wake of tragedy, Buddhism offers a radical path, writes Buddhist practitioner Ray Buckner. A few months ago, I went out for a night of dancing in the Castro district of San Francisco. Gay men danced amongst queer women, who danced amongst gender-queers. Dancing in a circle, we sang along to the music of Adele, Beyonce, and Lady Gaga — music filled with words that [...]
Finding Refuge in the Scary Places Inside Us
Ray Buckner shares how Buddhist practice can help us diminish fear by facing it directly with honesty, clarity, and compassion. It’s not easy to open our hearts when we feel utter aversion toward what’s arising, especially feelings of shame or loneliness or sorrow. It’s not easy to sit and be with ourselves, especially in moments when we don’t like ourselves very [...]
See Us Clearly: A Buddhist’s View of Transgender Visibility
Ray Buckner offers a personal view of what it means to be Buddhist, gender-queer, and trans — and why they all fit together like "a miracle." I identify as gender-queer and trans, and also as Buddhist, and — though it might be surprising to some — it seems to me a miracle how these two ways of being fit together. As Buddhists, we recognize that we suffer very much. Just [...]
Healthy Desire: A Buddhist’s View of Mindfulness & Sex
Buddhist practitioner Ray Buckner shares how bringing mindfulness into sex helps us develop a healthier relationship with both ourselves and our partner, and deepens our connection between mind and body. Eyes wide, out of breath, I remember my exact words. Spoken slowly and softly, I said, “Wow. That was literally the most amazing experience I have ever had in my entire [...]
Countering Oppression by Cultivating Peace
What started as a mindful walk became a personal "disturbance of the peace." Ray Buckner on how taking a moment to pause can transform an unsettling situation into a chance to break down barriers. I had Pema Chödrön’s Practicing Peace in my pocket when I was stopped by a police officer. I was out on a mindful walk in a suburb of Dallas, Texas, while visiting my friend [...]
Even a Broken Heart is Fundamentally Good
Buddhist practitioner Ray Buckner on the struggles of letting go after a relationship ends, and how being on the dharma path can help. At this specific moment, and for over five months, my heart and being feel deeply broken— pained in a way not previously felt. It’s a pain that, sometimes, doesn’t diminish, even when countered with contemplation and deep reflection, or [...]
