The Buddha knew that illness is a natural part of human life. Toni Bernhard shares how the first noble truth has helped her gracefully accept being chronically ill. After a long journey of discovery, with many ups and downs, the Buddha, an ordinary human being like you and me, sat down under a tree and stayed there until he attained enlightenment—also known as liberation, [...]
When Plans Go Awry, Eat the Blame
Have your plans ever worked out exactly as you’d hoped? No unexpected changes? No complications? Mine never have. When this happens, many of us go straight to self-blame, forgetting that uncertainty is a characteristic of the human condition. I learned about blame from Zen teacher, Robert Aitken Roshi. In his book, The Mind of Clover, he begins the chapter titled “Eating the [...]
Bringing mindfulness to loneliness
Toni Bernhard has a mindfulness exercise for bringing compassion to feelings of loneliness. It’s not uncommon for people to suffer from loneliness. Those who work around other people can feel lonely in their presence. Others may have loneliness descend on them as soon as they get home. If you’re not a stranger to this painful emotion, becoming familiar with how it operates in [...]
Is Mindfulness Ethically Neutral?
Toni Bernhard discusses why she thinks Mindfulness should not be considered a passive practice. Mindfulness is variously defined as “paying attention to your present moment experience” or as “non-judgmental awareness.” The Buddha is often quoted as describing it this way: In the seen, there is only the seen, in the heard, there is only the heard, in the sensed, there is [...]
“How to Wake Up” author Toni Bernhard on the self as “Ever-Shifting Flow”
In this excerpt from her new book How To Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow, Toni Bernhard sheds light on how easily we attach to ideas of ourselves, when these are really nothing more than just that: ideas. When I was a teenager, I behaved in repeating patterns that society had identified as signs of depression. As a result, I took on that label [...]
Review: How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick
When someone we care about is seriously ill, we often feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do. Toni Bernhard says there’s good advice in How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick. How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick By Letty Cottin Pogrebin PublicAffairs 2013; 304 pp., $24.99 (cloth) When I became chronically ill in 2001, I thought it was my fault. I blamed [...]
“The Practice of Not-Thinking”
"Of course we need to think," writes Toni Bernhard, author of How to Be Sick, in this guest post. But discursive thinking – the constant stream of thoughts racing through your head – can be slowed down to give the mind a rest. Here are five suggestions for practicing what Toni calls "Not-Thinking." Of course we need to think. If you and I weren’t thinking right now, I [...]
“What’s Your Hindrance?” Five Obstacles to Happiness and Contentment
A post by Toni Bernhard on the Buddha's "five hinderances" and how we can overcome these obstacles. The Buddha identified five mental states or habits of the mind that contribute to our dissatisfaction. He called these “the five hindrances.” All five are familiar to us all, but see if you don’t have your own “areas of specialization”: Desire for sense pleasure When [...]
What Is Karma and Why Should it Matter to You?
Karma is essential to Buddhist psychology, says Toni Bernhard, because karma molds our character. Because I’ve written a book on chronic illness from a Buddhist perspective, many people have written to me, saying they believe their poor health is karmic retribution for some past bad action—that they’re sick so they can work off this “bad karma.” With sincere respect for [...]
Dukkha Explained
Toni Bernhard shares her thoughts on suffering as it is understood in Buddhism. She introduces three kinds of dukkha, or suffering, and then a concise and helpful practice for working with each. The Truth About Suffering In his Second Noble Truth, the Buddha said that the origin of dukkha – the dissatisfaction with the circumstances of our lives – is tanha, or thirst. I [...]
