Question: How do we retain passion in life and still follow the teaching that we should accept all of life with equanimity? Narayan Helen Liebenson: I don’t think there is an inherent conflict between living passionately and living with equanimity. Not only can passion and equanimity coexist, they can work together harmoniously. When I use the word “passion,” I am referring [...]
Does my transgender identity conflict with Buddhism’s teachings on no-self?
Q: I was born male, but after many years of confusion, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually a transgender woman and I’m now seeking sex-reassignment surgery. As a Buddhist, I feel conflicted by the teachings on no-self and this unshakable feeling that there is a deep, hidden truth about me that I need to express. Am I wrong to embrace this sense of true self? Sallie [...]
Ask the Teachers: How can I accept the suffering of others?
Question: In dharma talks, the causes of suffering are often discussed, as is the cessation of suffering. I have been a Buddhist for about eighteen years, and while I feel I have an understanding and acceptance of the causes of personal suffering, I find it difficult to understand the causes of suffering when we suffer for others. Such suffering is not due to ignorance or [...]
Ask the Teachers: Should I believe the thought that I want a divorce?
I'm not sure I understand the statement, often evoked by Buddhists, “Don't believe everything you think.” How can I know which thoughts to believe? For instance, I seem to constantly have an unbidden thought that I wish I weren't married to my spouse. But then I think, well, I'm a Buddhist, I don't have to believe this thought. Besides, this is not something I would discuss or [...]
Ask the Teachers: How do I deal with doubt?
Question: I’ve been a Buddhist practitioner for many decades, and for the past several years I’ve been dealing with a lot of doubt regarding my practice, my sangha, and even my teacher. There’s been a falling out in my sangha and some of my friends have left, in part because they have lost confidence in our teacher. I want to believe in my teacher, my sangha, and my path, but I [...]
How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression?
Question: How does a meditator deal with episodes of major depression? Narayan Helen Liebenson: Major depression is one of the more difficult situations one can encounter. My experience is that meditation can be beneficial, if practiced under the supervision of a skilled therapist or teacher. I recommend The Mindful Way through Depression by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, [...]
Do Buddhas think?
Question: Do buddhas think? Narayan Helen Liebenson: As I understand it, the awakened mind includes thinking; it’s just that the thinking is necessary, functional, and discerning rather than indulgent, unnecessary, and addictive. Without attachment to thinking, silence and peace are available. In not grasping after thoughts and taking them to be me and mine, there is freedom [...]
Ask the Teachers: How can we practice when dealing with dementia?
Question: Is there a Buddhist perspective regarding practitioners who become afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia? Since the mind is the primary tool with which we work toward the realization of buddhanature and enlightenment, what does it mean if one loses that mind, or loses the capacity to practice, long before one dies? I’ve been able to find teachings and [...]
Ask the Teachers: How can I engage with emotions in a way that turns me towards the Dharma?
Question: It seems that sometimes I can’t tolerate interruptions to my self-absorption. Irritations, big and small, intruding on my desire to settle into the false comfort of ego, can seemingly produce a “me” that is argumentative, difficult, and short-tempered. I’m guessing that I’m not alone in this. How can we engage emotional provocations and self-centeredness in ways that [...]
Is enlightenment off-limits to laypeople?
Question: I recently attended a dharma talk in which the teacher said that laypeople, even if they practice sincerely, just don’t have the proper causes and conditions for full enlightenment. I feel that I need to know if this is true or not. What possibilities does this practice hold for me as a layperson? And what is beyond my reach? Please tell me honestly. Narayan Helen [...]